


Mustache Murder Plot

by Honey_Butterscotch



Series: A series of unrelated avatar events [9]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Crack, Death to Haru's mustache, Dont trust teo, Fluff, Gen, He accepts fruit as bribes, Hes a liar, Momo being Momo, Momo the mustache killer, This is really dumb, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, i love it, its for the greater good, super dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Butterscotch/pseuds/Honey_Butterscotch
Summary: Toph and Zuko devise a murder plot, with Momo as a willing accomplice. That mustache is going down.
Relationships: Momo & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: A series of unrelated avatar events [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879483
Comments: 53
Kudos: 469





	Mustache Murder Plot

**Author's Note:**

> This is way too funny to me. Haru didn't deserve that mustache you guys. That mustache is a mistake and I need to fix that.

"An intervention will not work, we need to take action!"

"What, are we going to shave it off while he's asleep?"

"Hey!"

"Toph, _no._ "

"It's so ugly though!"

"You're totally blind and I can't even see it if he's on my left side."

"But I can _tell,_ and you can still see it from your right side."

"Yeah. It's so bad, it needs to go."

"I can't do it for obvious reasons and your body heat is too obvious. We need someone small, quick and good with a knife."

They turned their heads when the chitter came from the doorway. Momo, in all his fuzzy glory, crouched there framed by the light of the early morning. He solemnly picked up a knife from behind him and nodded with wide, unblinking green eyes. Toph and Zuko knew that Momo would carry out their mission. Toph leaned back and propped her feet on Zuko's leg with a grin. "Well, that problem is fixed! We just have to wait one more day before that ugly mustache is gone."

"It is for the greater good. He will understand."

* * *

Momo waited until the darkness had settled and pulled the sharp knife he had taken from Zuko (the Warm One) from under the rocks. He paused when Teo (the Laughing One) mumbled and wiggled the upper part of his torso, then settled seconds later. Haru (the Earthmover) had an unfortunate collection of hair on his upper lip. It had to be done. Momo was well versed in the ways of the sharp things, he did what he had to in order to survive. He was quick and clean about the disposal of the ugly hair. Toph (the Badgermole Kit) would give him extra sweet fruits in the morning. And nobody would ever suspect him to be the perpetrator of this murder, or to be in cohorts with the two unlikely masterminds. It was a secret the three would take to the grave."

* * *

"Hey Haru, you shaved!"

"What do you mean?"

"You shaved your mustache, what else would I mean?"

"WHAT?"

Toph and Zuko gave Momo his reward of crancherries. The lemur tucked them away and went to go nap on Aang's head. Haru was feeling his upper lip and fell over when he realized that all his hardwork was gone. Teo had pulled himself into his wheelchair and wheeled over to Haru. He slid off and began to pat his back, attempting to console him.

"I thought you looked very nice with it. But, you still look very nice without it."

"It took me so long."

"Are you going to grow it back?"

Toph and Zuko held their breaths. Momo peered over, looking ready to dove for the knife hidden close by. 

"No. I think the spirits are telling me not to grow it back. They must have cut it off themselves."

The tension melted away.

"Thank the earth spirits! Haru. that thing was so ugly I didn't even have to see it to hate it."

"I will grow it back out of spite."

"Try it. I'll cut it off myself."

"Never mind."

Zuko watched Momo slink off from where he had hidden the knife and realized that Haru had just very nearly died. The mustache was the only thing that needed to be murdered at the temple. Nobody knew that Teo paid Momo in moon peaches to cut off every attempt at regrowing the mustache. Nobody except Momo, who grew very plush on all the sweet fruit payments he recieved. The mustache would stay away as long as Momo could keep eating fruits.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably not very funny but I like it. Death to the mustache 2020


End file.
